My first stop was at the Origins counter, which offered a palette of all-natural, botanical,
chemical and paba-free, opthalmology correct substances made from so many plant and oil
seeds, just reading the bottles made me hungry.
"Looking for something?" asked a zealous man at the counter. I confess, I know
it’s sexist, but I’m always suspicious about men who know more about make-up than I do.
Never mind that some of the greatest makeup artists, like Scavullo and Boy George were
men. I’m suppose to have this stuff in my genetic makeup. Then again, I was the one
who pulled the head off Barbie after I cut all her hair off.
"I need something for my dark circles." I felt like a junkie asking for a fix.
"Yes, I see. They are very bad. You don’t have nearly enough coverage.”
Thanks, I thought. Why don’t you just sell me a pair of dark glasses and call it a day?
You know, Carol Kane made big bucks from circles like these. Latka never seemed to
mind.
"For your skin tone, I don’t have anything that’s heavy enough. Has anyone ever told
you, you have a lot of red in your skin?"
"I do?" I asked, incredulous. I hadn’t seen the sun in weeks.
"You need something with alphahydroxy acids to flake away some of that dead
skin. It’s like a chemical peel in a bottle." He showed me a small vial that looked
suspiciously like a glucose solution one would inject as life saving precation. “It’s only
$27.50 and believe me, you need it."
"I do?"
"Yes," he said grimly. "It’ll make all the difference."
After staring at my flaky, red skin in a mirror that probably was rigged like one of those
funhouse deals, I was convinced Mr. Origins was right. How could I have walked out of
the house with scaling skin? A veritable reptile. No wonder my last relationship was a
mess. I handed him my American Express card.
As my new elixir was being packaged, I was informed that if I returned next week, I
would receive a free full size lipstick in one of three new fabulous fall colors.
"I’ll be here," I assured Mr. Origins, as I sauntered off to the next counter seeking
concealer of the right consistency.
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