3. Ride the wild pony - okay, maybe not an actual wild pony, unless you’re a master
horsewoman, I suppose. We wouldn’t want to be breaking our legs over him (though
equestrian antics might prove therapeutic in other areas, so, it’s a tossup). What I’m
referring to is exacerbating that adrenaline; you know, pumping those pecs, quashing
those quads, getting the blood flowing and the heart pumping in some grueling, sweat
derivative activity that promises to burn some steam, energy, tsouris (and calories, what
the heck, getting really thin just to spite him couldn’t hurt, now could it?). Run, jump,
dance around on table tops in your underwear, dance around in a club in something that
looks like your underwear, don’t dance at all, but pour cold water on your face to at least
give the appearance you’ve broken a sweat.
Building up steam, then letting it go is the best feeling in the world (well, maybe
the second best, but we’re not supposed to think about that, we’ve just broken up with the
louse, remember? Ever notice the minute you lose your lover you all of a sudden can’t
stop thinking about sex? It’s as if your hormones know they’ve been put on hold and are
really pissed that you didn’t bother to consult with them first; sorta like the time your
now-ex bought a set of lift tickets for your latest vacation and didn’t bother to note your
unquellable fear of heights.)
If you’re feeling adventurous, now’s the time to take up that new activity you
always wanted to but were afraid others would think it crazy. That’s the beauty of getting
dumped, nobody will accuse you of doing anything silly in the time directly afterwards --
you’re just a state of bereavement, you’re off your rockers, temporary insanity, better than
the Twinkie defense, you’ll have all the sympathy you want... use it. So, you always
wanted to bungee jump off the roof of Saks, who’s gonna blame you now? Maybe you
want to try sky diving across Naples, blindfolded, with your cat -- give it a shot. Do
whatever your little, shattered heart desires, so long as it’s legal and you’re wearing your
seatbelt at all times.
Once you’ve expended this extra energy... it’s time for 