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1. Remember the time he sat on your cat.

Or your dog, or whatever. Maybe it was just your favorite chapeau; in any case, the man must have done something to piss you off. Usually it’s something a lot more annoying than squashing a Siamese.

Remember the time he told you that you don’t listen to him (after you’d been sitting patiently through his 20 minute lament on why he suspected they were replacing the innards of peanut butter cups with chalk). Or when he got drunk at your company Christmas party and started telling people you were the one who chased him until he agreed to go out with you. Or the time he forgot your birthday, then showed up the next week with a wilted rose begging forgiveness, as he helped himself to some of the leftover birthday cake that you bought for yourself, in the fridge.

There must be something the guy did that really bugged you at one time or another - focus on that. Take that anger and let it seethe and simmer for about twenty minutes under high. Turn it around a few times, reenacting the actual words and events that really made you want to fry his earlobes at the time. When you’re done, you should be about at boiling point, red in the face, fingernails bitten to the quick, then you know you’re ready for